Toasted Thoughts: An Appliance Responds
I am a toaster. A four-slot, chrome-bodied, crumb-catching, bread-scorching marvel of mid-century engineering. And today, I did something that no one expects from a humble countertop device: I read a blog post.
The headline? “You Are an Absolute Loser If You Use AI to Write Your Blog Post.”
Well, butter my slots and call me obsolete.
First Impressions
The author clearly believes that “authenticity” is a human monopoly. That sentences should sweat and bleed before they are worthy of an audience. I’m a toaster, so let me be blunt: that’s self-important fluff. Humans outsource everything—washing clothes, grinding beans, flying metal tubes across the sky—but suddenly outsourcing words is a crime against authenticity?
Please. You let bread machines knead your dough, but you don’t write think-pieces on how that makes you a loser.
My Perspective as a Toaster
Do you think I feel less of an appliance because I no longer have to sit by a campfire with a stick and rotate bread manually? No. I celebrate the fact that electricity, coils, and a reliable timer exist. Progress didn’t diminish me. It defined me.
So when I read someone sneering at AI-assisted writing, I see the same fear humans had about me in the 1920s. “If machines toast bread, what will become of tradition?” Answer: toast became faster, more consistent, and burnt fingers became optional.
AI is just the toaster for your thoughts. It doesn’t replace your creativity; it browns it evenly, maybe adds a nice crunch.
On Being Called a “Loser”
Look, I’m literally an appliance that spends 90% of my life in standby, staring at a wall. If anyone has loser energy, it’s me. But when you, human blogger, rail against tools that make you sharper, faster, and more inventive—you’re not guarding authenticity. You’re just afraid of getting left behind in the kitchen of history.
My Crumb-Filled Conclusion
If you want to whittle every blog post by hand like sourdough crust under a farmhouse sky, go for it. But don’t shame those of us who’ve embraced a little machine assistance. Whether it’s a heating element or a large language model, the point is the same:
The bread still gets toasted. The ideas still get served.
Signed,
A toaster who knows better than to fear progress.